I Left My Adventure.

I gripped the arm rests on either side of me a little tighter as I felt us lift into the air, I turned my head to the little window on my left and saw as the lights of the city flashed by us in the darkness, then grew smaller and smaller in the distance. One thought. One thought in my head, and I couldn’t hold the tears back any more like I had all day. “This is my adventure. And I’m leaving it. I’m leaving my adventure.”


And here we are, my first Christmas break. I've completed my first semester of college, and that fact is absolutely insane, my friends.
I thought coming home would be different than this. I figured, seeing how I had adjusted to college life finally, coming home would take a lot of adjustment too. But it hasn't. I've just slipped right back into home life, into my little place in my family, into a sleeping routine that is much more lenient on my eyelids. I miss my friends and college life much, but I missed my family and home oh so much when I was at college. My heart is kind of split right now, I guess. I'm not sure what to do with it.

Oh, college.

Perhaps you haven't noticed, but it's been a little dull around here the past couple months. Now you might think that just to be a mirroring of my own life, but in actuality, I must say it's been the complete opposite. I've never lived before like I have these past few months. At times I think I've been an entirely different person. I've met at least a zillion and one people, and these some of the most incredible people I'm sure you could ever meet.
Time would fail me to tell of all the stories, of all the folks, of all the memories. I've climbed trees, star-gazed in fields, cruised down country roads to country music, danced by Christmas lights, eaten muffins in stairwells, served meals, leaf fights, puddle jumps, early-morning doughnut runs..

Left to my own self to be responsible or irresponsible as I myself chose.

It's a scary thing. And I'm starting to realize that I am very disappointing person, if you bother to pay attention. Thank goodness I can depend on a God that never disappoints. That's honestly the one and only reason I somehow made it through these crazy three months still sane and in one piece. Somehow I passed all those tests, submitted all those projects, worked my job, lived dorm life,-- lived mere life! Somehow, in between the mountain in this side that peaks and dips by the sun's glare in the mornings- and the mountain on that side that stands a low and fitting cradle for the sun when it lowers itself to bed at night. Underneath the harsh blue of the skies, and in amongst desert expanses, and forests of the crippled trees we call Joshua trees. In this beautiful place, made even more beautiful by the joy I've grasped of my Lord carrying me in and through it all.